Clicky-click above to hear some of the independent pop tunes I’ve been digging lately. Older mixes can be heard here. Rah.
downtown chicago through my sunroof
bohemian national cemetery – chicago, illinois
fun fact: a chicago cubs-themed columbarium is fucking stupid
More pictures can be found at my Flickr page. Any upset Cubs fans can go here.
this week (and a wee bit of last) in instagram
A WordPress plug-in killed my blog for most of this week [/shakes angry fist at Jetpack]. It’s obviously back now [/shakes thankful fist at Dreamhost] – hope you were able to cope during my absence.
Anyway, here’s what my phone’s camera has been up to the last 8 days. Enjoy.
cemetery at notre dame – south bend, indiana
elkhart, indiana
leaning tower of niles, illinois
bohemian national cemetery – chicago, illinois
maywood park – melrose park, illinois
chicago, illinois
I am carnibu1 on Instagram – go find me. More pictures can be found at my Flickr page.
time for jubano!
So here’s the latest project in my ongoing crusade to continue throwing creative shit at the wall until something finally sticks. It’s a six-track EP of instrumental music made under my JUBANO! moniker. The songs are primarily built around loops and samples, with some additional keyboard work added in using my trusty MIDI synth. It’s good. It’s also free.
The songs can respectively be described thusly: 1) icy ambient, 2) dance-y!, 3) icy electronica, 4) noise, 5) all the previous descriptors smushed together, and 6) incredibly-long meditation. Did I mention it’s good? And free?
Give it a shot. You can stream and download individual tracks below or get the whole thing over at Bandcamp.
And here’s the video for the second track, “Drimdrim”, which I actually posted here a long while back. I’m hoping to have a second video finished (for “Jamaica”) in two weeks or so.
south bend, indiana
morris performing arts center
century center
st patrick church
marycrest-singer-hammes building
st adalbert church
cemetery at notre dame
Super special thanks to Mary for the tour of the town. More pictures can be found at my Flickr page.
after weeks seven, eight, and nine
beautiful new jersey
Things I’ve Learned Over The Past Three Weeks:
1) The city of Paterson is a trash-strew hellscape; of course, it’s in New Jersey. It’s not that the town is ugly. I mean, it’s pretty ugly, though not any more so than other nearby towns like Hackensack, Newark, and Orange. To the town’s credit, it does have good qualities: there’s some nice-though-rundown architecture scattered around town; the preponderance of Latin restaurants guarantees that delicious food can be found there; and there’s a freakin’ awesome waterfall right in the middle of town. But all of it – all of it – is covered in garbage. Any type of detritus you can think of is laying along the streets, sidewalks, and greenways of Paterson, shifting around lazily as the wind blows and cars drive over it. The place is disgusting and depressing, and – as the last town I visited before speeding westward on I-80 – a fitting way to end my time in New Jersey.
2) Pennsylvania is really pretty in the dullest way possible. I spent a week cutting across the northern part of Pennsylvania, along I-80. As I drove, I looked around at the scenery passing me by and thought, “this is really nice”. But none of it was striking enough for me to stop and take some pictures. And that’s because better versions of all of Pennsylvania’s nicest features can be found in other states. Mountains: head down to the Smokies in Tennessee and North Carolina. Valleys: go to California, or even Kentucky. Streams, rivers, et al: check out Colorado or upstate New York. Overall verdancy: nothing beats Vermont.
Pennsylvania has a dull beauty. It’s a beauty nonetheless, though, so – despite the lack of inspiration – it was very much appreciated, especially after so much of my recent time was spent in Shitholeopolis, New Jersey.
3) I packed too much. Now that it’s finally spring, my luggage is about 10 pounds heavier than it needs to be due to my pea coat and several sweaters. Even with those items excised from my bag, though, I’ve still got too much in there. Take a look at the hotel pics below – I pretty much wear the same outfit everyday. I could’ve packed a hobo bindle and been good to go.
4) I really, really hate to say it, but those new KFC boneless thingies are the best food I’ve had so far on this trip. Not since their infamous Double Down have I eaten something, found it to be incredibly delicious, then immediately vowed never to eat it again, because doing so would likely kill me. But, goddamn, this shit is good. And – again – it pains me to say that. In nine weeks of traveling, I’ve had all sorts of yummy Vietnamese, Indian, Cuban, Mexican, Chinese, Japanese, and the latest hipster foo-foo nonsense – none of it has been as good these boneless killchunks. Especially the dark meat ones – oh God, the dark meat ones – they are just so, so good. And because they don’t have the bone, I can eat these things without making cunnilingus faces while digging out the meat from the inner recesses of the thigh. Bonus!
5) Tim Horton’s coffee lids are the fucking worst. Unlike the ones at Dunkin Donuts and other decent American coffee places, Tim Horton’s coffee lids are flat. That means that – once you open up the little rectangular hatch that allows you to take sips – the coffee is millimeters away from escaping. So if you have the lid open and make even the smallest of movements (or if you’re driving and run over a pebble), that coffee’s gonna leap out and get on your clothes or your car’s interior or your previously unburnt flesh. Goddamn Canadians should know better.
The Past Three Weeks In Hotels:
ramada – parsippany, new jersey
econo lodge – stroudsburg, pennsylvania
days inn – danville, pennsylvania
rodeway inn – clearfield, pennsylvania
super 8 – franklin, pennsylvania
super 8 – youngstown, ohio
super 8 – north ridgeville, ohio
econo lodge – elkhart, indiana
The overarching theme of my hotel stays over these past three weeks has been emptiness. As in, most of the hotels I’ve been to lately – especially on the weekends – have been devoid of other guests. Here’s the Days Inn in Danville:
And here’s my current hotel in Elkhart as of ten minutes ago (the RV’s are from a dealership next door):
This hasn’t been a bad thing, of course. I’ve been able to leave my blinds and windows open during the day to let in some much-welcome natural light, have been able to listen to music as loud as I want, and have been able to make disturbing, semi-orgasmic sounds while eating my KFC Boneless Whatevers™ without fear of scaring the other guests.
All in all, it’s been a pretty good stretch of hotels, with the best being the Econo Lodge in Stroudsburg (which was a block from the center of town, and 3 blocks from a KFC™) and the Super 8 in Franklin (which was near a KFC™ that was closed down, which is likely why I’m still alive).
libby’s lunch – paterson, nj
The Past Three Weeks In Food:
1) Libby’s Lunch – Paterson, New Jersey
A small, greasy spoon diner on the edge of the Passaic River. I had two of their Texas weiners (a la the picture above) – they were good, though nothing special.
2) Pakwaan – Parsippany, New Jersey
An Indian restaurant in the same shopping center as the ShopRite where a good chunk of my meals in New Jersey came from. For three-quarters of my time inside this place, I was the only customer, which was a bit awkward, especially since the waiter had nothing else to do but stand about 20 feet away and stare at me. Despite that, they still had some of the best Indian food that I’ve had outside of my beloved Sitar back home in Nashville.
3) Fred’s – Manhattan
The restaurant’s name comes from a female dog named Fred. She’s dead now. The walls of the restaurant are completely covered by pictures of other dogs. Since the restaurant’s been open for a while now, a lot of those dogs are now dead, too.
So . . .
If you like eating while surrounded by pictures of probably-dead dogs – at a restaurant named after a dead dog – then I can’t recommend Fred’s enough.
4) KFC™
Think I’ve said enough about this already. God, I want more.
5) Buffets!
Lots and lots of them along Pennsylvania, Ohio, and Indiana. All of them were better than the crap that sustained me while in New York City and Jersey (with the exception of the Indian place above).
6) Las Casitas – Ypsilanti, Michigan
Somewhere inside this massive cheese-covered mass of fried bread is some very delicious pork:
and yet i worry about eating too much boneless chicken
The chorizo taco was quite delectable as well.
7) Jamaican Jerk Pit – Ann Arbor, Michigan
A return trip, as I came here last year. Got the same thing as last year, too – jerk pork with rice and plantains. This time around, though, I chose to get it spicier than before, which was stupid of me – instead of tasting dreamy, fatty pork, I mainly tasted heat. And then I pooped heat. Stupid me.
at great falls park – paterson, new jersey
The Past Three Weeks In Booze:
Rum!
I bought some Bacardi Gold in Franklin and paired it with orange juice ’cause that’s all I had (would have preferred to go with a vending machine Coke, but I’m still trying to avoid sodas – it’s become the only one of my food rules that I’ve been able to maintain, so I’d like to keep it that way). Then I had a rum and Coke (oh well) with my friend at a bar in Ann Arbor. In Elkhart, I bought the cheapest spiced rum they had at the grocery store (Admiral Nelson, who probably does not swashbuckle as much as Captain Morgan) and have been sipping on that in the evenings all weekend, again paired with orange juice so that it’s nutritious, too!
franklin, pennsylvania
Up Next:
Chicago for at least two weeks. I hated it last time – am not expecting things to be much different this time.
More pictures can be found at my Flickr page.
pennsylvania, last week
oil city, pennsylvania
Of all the towns in Pennsylvania I visited last week, my favorite was the first one I stopped at: Stroudsburg. And not just because it’s the first town I reached after finally – finally! – leaving New Jersey (though I’m sure my euphoria from leaving Jersey played a small part – hell, if East St Louis was the first town on I-80 outside of New Jersey, I likely would have found it to be Eden-like in its beauty) – it’s just a nice town, with a very-walkable Main Street area featuring enough life to keep me entertained during my two nights there.
So, of course, it’s the one town I visited in which I didn’t take any pictures while there. Here are pics from the other towns:
oil city, pennsylvania
oil city, pennsylvania
franklin, pennsylvania
frankin, pennsylvania
danville, pennsylvania
danville, pennsylvania
williamsport, pennsylvania
and back to iron city, pennsylvania
More pictures can be found at my Flickr page.
this week (and last) in instagram
great falls park – paterson, new jersey
great falls park – paterson, new jersey
a month or so of motel pens – stroudsburg, pennsylvania
animal planter channel – super 8 – franklin, pennsylvania
bosom – franklin, pennsylvania
super happy goodtime rainbow oil – oil city, pennsylvania
southside – oil city, pennsylvania
fine-o-meter – oil city, pennsylvania
northside – oil city, pennsylvania
Find me on Instagram by going here. More pictures can be found at my Flickr page.
here’s a new tune
On the first night at my hotel in Queens last Monday, I opened up the window and stuck a microphone outside. For a little over 12 minutes, I recorded the sounds from the street below. Honestly, it wasn’t too exciting – the only worthwhile sound came at the very end, when an ambulance drove by as I was getting ready to bring the microphone back up. I still wanted to use the recording for something, though, so I started messing around with some loops until a song started to take shape.
Here’s the song. The loops consist of a kick drum beat, a bandoneon, and a ronroco, all of which came from a Spanish song whose stem tracks were posted on Indaba a month or two ago. A couple days later – at my hotel in Parsippany, New Jersey – I whipped out my MIDI keyboard and started adding layers and layers of synths sounds. These layers enter, one at a time, for the first six minutes, eventually coming together to form a melody that carries the song the rest of the way. Then the ambulance drives by.
So it’s long and requires patience – I’m not deluding myself into thinking you’re gonna give it much of a shot. But you should – it’s really good. Hit the ‘play’ button below, and chill out for a bit.
Enjoy.
after week six: get me away from here
from my hotel room – queens
Things I’ve Learned:
1) New York, I love you, but you’ve worn me the fuck out. It’s all the car’s fault. Driving around New York all day is a frustrating nightmare. By the time I’m done with work, I’m completely drained after a day of cursing loudly, avoiding potholes, inching ever-so-fucking slowly on the Van Wyck, and cursing loudly some more. As a result, I’ve been too tired to do much of anything this week – no subway-hopping to random parts of the city, no late-night stroll along Broadway, no visit to MOMA, no drinking overpriced PBR’s at Union Pool. I’ve just chilled in my hotel room, zoning out to baseball and Adult Swim cartoons, which is actually pretty fun, but I still feel that I should be doing more since I’m in New York and still have 8 bucks on my metro card.
Now it’s the weekend, and my body’s recovered, but I’m also now in Jersey because I can’t afford to stay in New York on the weekends, so the week ends up feeling even more like a wasted opportunity, especially since there’s absolutely nothing to do in Jersey beyond hoping that it’s a clear enough day so that you can see the skyline of Manhattan and – while pondering the miserableness of spending so much time of the one life you have in New Jersey – think to yourself, “well, at least I’m close”.
God, I hate it here.
2) If it’s wrong to drive around the shit towns of Jersey on Saturday mornings while loudly listening to reggae and concurrently saying random things even louder in an exaggerated and possibly-racist Jamaican accent, then I don’t wanna be right. Because that’s truly the only thing I’ve enjoyed doing in Jersey during these 3 weekends that I’ve spent here. I wake up, get in my car to go get coffee, and turn on a New York-based public radio station (89.9FM) that has a reggae show on Saturday mornings. Instead of going back to my hotel after getting the coffee, I keep on driving aimlessly ’til the show wraps up at noon, because it’s just so much fun to listen while saying nonsense in a bad Jamaican accent.
Give it a shot. Try saying any of these words and phrases in your best/worst Jamaican accent and try not to smile after:
a) Calista Flockhart
b) The Wind In The Willows
c) Every Rose Has Its Thorn
d) Jello Biafra
e) Uncle Tupelo
f) Early Morning, April 4
g) Choco Taco
h) C’mon Everybody, Do The Bartman
You’re welcome.
The Week In Hotels:
super 8 – jamaica, ny
howard johnsons – parsippany, nj
The work week was spent at a Super 8 in Jamaica, Queens, which I had previously stayed at and enjoyed last year. The room’s a bit cramped – about half the size of the HoJo in the Bronx that I stayed at last week – but it’s still very nice and clean. And I arrived just as spring finally showed up, allowing me to keep my 4th floor window open throughout my stay, letting in both a nifty breeze and the entertaining sounds from the busy street below.
The weekend has been spent at a Howard Johnsons in Parsippany, New Jersey. I also stayed here last year, and also enjoyed it despite the hotel’s less-than-pleasing exterior. The interior’s perfectly fine, though, with one exception: the TV channel selection is really odd, mainly in that it’s missing a lot of channels that are pretty standard at every other hotel.
Here are the TV channels I’ve been missing out on this weekend, plus the programs I had wished to see.
a) NBC (no Saturday Night Live)
b) Fox (no Saturday baseball, which happened to feature my favorite team this week; also no Sunday cartoons, two of which I love tremendously; worst of all, no chance to see the super-hot weekend anchor for Fox 5 news)
c) HBO (no new Louis CK special; no Real Sex 54, featuring the best swinger’s clubs of 1993)
d) AMC (no Mad Men, hence no feeling of smugness after totally catching the symbolism in that belt that Don decided to wear in that one scene towards the end; also, no Lindsay Weir!)
I have four ESPN’s though, so I can see stuff about golf and Kobe Bryant if I really feel like giving up on the day. Oh, and Showtime Extreeeeeme!, which just shows boxing and Gleaming The Cube on loop (just when you think he’s not gonna be able to gleam that cube, he totally gleams it!).
brooklyn
The Week In Food:
Crap – Queens, New York
As with my time last week in the Bronx, my hotel in Jamaica had absolutely no food options nearby beyond fast food and Chinese take-out. So I ate fast food and Chinese take-out. The only thing of note during my time was the salt-and-pepper squid that I had at a place across the street from my hotel called Peking Garden. It was darn tasty.
squid!
I also ordered some pork lo mein from that place, which ended up being good, though super duper greasy – I’m pretty sure I burped oil for a couple hours after.
ShopRite – Parsippany, New Jersey
This grocery store chain actually has a very good and diverse selection of pre-packaged meals, perfect for a hotel-bound fella like me. Their Chinese food, in particular, is surprisingly good – I thought I bought enough to last me through Monday, but I ended up eating it all by Friday. Shame on me.
Saigon Pho – Parsippany, New Jersey
The benefit to my eating binge on Friday is that I got to visit this restaurant on Saturday and get the Vietnamese fix I’d been lacking for the past couple weeks. Due to some language barrier issues, they mixed up my phone order: I asked for the beef an brisket pho, plus a side order of pork grilled meatballs; they gave me the beef and brisket pho, but also gave me beef and meatball pho. It worked out fine, though – the 2 soups meant I now had more than enough (very good) food to get me through the weekend.
brooklyn
The Week In Booze:
High Life! After going a full month without drinking any beer, can you guess how the first beer in this 6-pack tasted? If you guessed, “like hobo taint”, pat yourself on the back.
downtown brooklyn
Up Next:
More Queens, then Newark, then maybe – finally – I’m done with the east coast.
More pictures can be found at my Flickr page.
after week five: bronxy beat
bronx, ny
Things I’ve Learned:
1) Screw your hipster havens, New York’s at its finest on the corner of Roosevelt and Broadway in Queens. Three different neighborhoods – Elmhurst, Woodside, and Jackson Heights – all meet up right there. It is bustling at all hours, and – despite its gritty, ungentrified appearance – is overflowing with some of the best smells you’ll find in New York, a result of the concentrated mass of restaurants catering to every ethnicity you can think of. Can a vacationing Itsekiri come over here and find a tasty meal similar to what her grandmother makes back home in the Nigerian delta? Damn fucking right she can, and she can grab some turon saba from the Filipino bakery next door if she wants to try something different for dessert. You picked a great place to take your vacation, Besida, just as destiny dictated!*
Also in their favor: cartloads of meat chilling out on the curb!
i love you – queens, new york
Better shows in Brooklyn, though. Speaking of . . .
2) The overwhelming majority of my friends have no idea who Jessie Ware is, and that’s a shame. Mainly, because it left me with no one to brag to after checking out her absolutely fantastic show on Wednesday at the Music Hall Of Williamsburg. Oh lordy, was she good. Listen to and love her, dammit:
3) Haribo > Black Forest. On this year’s trip, gummy bears have replaced potato chips as my go-to snack food. I’ve been dabbling with different brands, but really, Haribo > any other gummy brand by a wide margin. Mmm, gummy.
The Week In Hotels:
knights inn – south hackensack
howard johnsons – bronx, new york
Knights Inn – South Hackensack, New Jersey
I’ve stayed here before. It’s really rundown on the outside but the rooms are actually quite nice, with mounted flat-screen TV’s providing hundreds of cable channels (of which I only watched YES, SNY, ESPN, and ESPN2 because it was Opening Day and oh my god baseball – BASEBALL!!! - thank god there’s finally some baseball to ease the pain of this horrid, vapid existence). One thing I didn’t notice during my first stay here: along with the nightly rate, they also charge by the hour. Yes, this is one of those take-everything-of-value-out-of-your-car places.
shoulda tried the jacuzzi room
Howard Johnson – Bronx, New York
So the coffee maker didn’t work, and the hot water disappeared pretty darn quick while taking a shower, and the parking lot was against a window-less wall which made me very paranoid about the state of my car the whole time – but man, what a pretty room this was. It was spacious, well-lit, had a comfy king-sized bed, provided MLB Network so that I could further wax my baseball knob, and it was New York cheap (i.e. less than a hondo a night). It was also right next to a metro station, making for easy jaunting to other boroughs after finishing up work.
“New York cheap” is still above my usual budget, though, so it was unfortunately back to Jersey – back to the Ramada in South Plainfield – for the weekend. My room still had no coffeemaker, but at least there was a desk chair this time around so that I wouldn’t have to do all my computering while sitting on a night stand.
they probably have hourly rates here, too – fort lee, new jersey
The Week In Food:
My ‘no fast food’ rule was finally violated, as there’s not much of anything by that Knights Inn in Hackensack other than the Wendy’s next door. There might have been a Subway a block away, but ew, no – I’ll take diet-busting fast food over Subway any day.
So shame on me. Then shame on me again, because – the next day – I also broke my ‘no soda’ rule. This occurred at a tiny little burger place in Hackensack called White Manna. Found through the previously-lauded TVfoodmaps.com, this place is famous for their sliders. I ordered two double burger sliders, with both coated in cheddar cheese and onions. I ordered a Coke, too – it just seemed like the perfect liquid accompaniment for the burgers. It was all wonderfully tasty. The fingers on my burger-eating hand (the left) smelled so good after that I kept smelling them for hours, like a teenager after finally getting to third base with Becky Langston. *Sigh* I miss you so much, Becky.
After two days of fast food and sliders, I was really, really in need of something healthy to eat. Unfortunately, I was now in the Bronx, and there was absolutely nothing even remotely healthy in the vicinity of the hotel where I was staying. I settled on a pizza place a couple blocks from the hotel. This is one of those places – typical of Bronx and Queens – where the sign says ‘pizza’ or ‘fried chicken’ but, really, you can order pretty much anything you can think of and they’ll make it. I decided to get a gyro, but the guy behind the counter must’ve thought I said ‘hero’, as he ended up making me a cheesesteak. Mistake or not, it was a good call by the dude, as it was one of the better, non-Publix cheesesteaks I’ve had in a while.
The next day, I went to a Chinese place by the metro station and ordered some honey chicken and pork lo mein. It was overly-greasy and oh-so bad for me, but, man, it hit the spot – I got that warm, happy feeling afterward that I usually only get after eating hot chicken back home in Nashville.
On the weekend, I mainly made due with groceries from the nearby Shop-Rite, with the exception being a return trip to the scandal-loving Rutgers campus to check out R U Hungry again. This time around, I decided to try the Fat Darrell (featuring chicken fingers, mozzarella sticks, french fries, lettuce, tomato and marinara sauce), which they bill as the best sandwich in the nation. It is not – the sandwich I had there the previous week was way better. As was the cheesesteak gyro/hero I got in the Bronx. As were the sliders at White Manna. As was the chicken sandwich I got at Wendy’s. Probably better than anything at Subway, though.
The Week In Booze:
None :( I suck.
fort lee, new jersey
Up Next:
Brooklyn all week. Maybe Staten Island, too.
*Besida is a common female Itsekiri name that translates to, “as destiny dictates”. True, the best jokes should not need explaining, but I’m still proud of this one.
More pictures can be found at my Flickr page.
this week in instagram: new york cares
My instagramming on the first month of this trip has been relatively light so far, mainly due to the fact that I’ve been spending my time in a lot of the same places that I visited and photographed last year. That remained the case during this past week in 3 of New York’s boroughs, but the city’s so extensive and overflowing with interesting sights that I still found plenty of things that caught my eye.
view from my hotel room – bronx, ny
some graffiti by hunts point – bronx, ny
lisa needs braces – bronx, ny
shitty pigs – bronx, ny
i wrote a (good) song here 2 years ago – beford ave, williamsburg
seeing jessie ware at music hall of williamsburg – brooklyn, ny
along bedford avenue – brooklyn, ny
meatrection – queens, ny
I am carnibu1 on Instagram – follow me. More pictures can be found at my Flickr page.
honey brown blues recommends . . .
Endorsements of various things that make life on the road a bit easier:
Songdrop
Songdrop lets you grab all the various songs that you find enjoyable while browsing around the web and puts them on one page for you. Since most music blogs nowadays don’t give you an option to download the songs they feature – instead embedding a stream of the track via Soundcloud or Bandcamp – this is a good way to keep those songs handy, especially if you’re still not sure if you like the song enough after a listen or two to spring for a band’s album. This site and their Chrome extension replaces the one I used to rely on – ex.fm – a once-awesome site that went to total shit when they decided to update it (all truly handy web programs tend to go to shit eventually, don’t they?). If you wanna listen to the tunes I’ve been digging while on the road, you can check out my Songdrop profile here.
TVfoodmaps.com
In my week in review piece this past Sunday, I wrote about 2 very good restaurants in New Brunswick, New Jersey. I found both of those restaurants through TVfoodmaps.com, a site that maps out a bunch of restaurants that have been featured on various gluttony-focused TV shows. If you’re taking a trip, just tell ‘em where you’re headed, and it’ll show you all the restaurants along your route. Or just type in the name of any city, and it’ll tell you what’s nearby. I would have never learned of those 2 restaurants in New Brunswick – along with a very fine burger place in Hackensack that I’ll be writing about this Sunday – if it wasn’t for this site. My stomach thanks you, TVfoodmaps. My arteries, on the other hand, do not.
Walgreens
I take medication. I’m also in a different city almost every day. When it’s time to get a refill on my prescription, I call the Walgreens nearest to me and they transfer things over to their location. When the next refill time comes along, the process repeats, delightfully-free of any hassles.
Also – and I’m sure I sound like a total shill saying this but it’s true – their sales don’t fuck around, especially if you use their rewards card at checkout.
The Neon Lounge
Going strong for six years and getting better with each post, this blog by my friend Tyge in Vegas is must-read which I highly encourage everyone to follow. What amazing stories and photographs is Tyge gonna post next? There’s only one way to find out (i.e. by checking out The Neon Lounge every day, so as to take in all its fresh delights).
The Simpsons Tapped Out
By making every task play out in real time, this game really, really, really wants you to spend money so that you can speed things up. They also require you to pony up cash in order to get the cooler buildings like the Duff Brewery and Scorpio’s Lair. But there’s no way in hell I’m spending money on this thing because:
1) Brother, I’ve got all the time in the world. And I’m a very patient person. And there’s plenty of things I can do with my time while waiting for Jake’s Unisex Hair Palace to be built.
2) I would never give a single dime to a company that treats its customers as horribly as Electronic Arts.
3) Why would anyone spend actual money to buy intangible items that have zero value outside of a game that you’ll eventually get bored with? Yes, Scorpio’s Lair is pretty cool, but c’mon.
Really, the reason that I play the game – and the reason I recommend it – is because it never fails to bring a smile to my face when I tap on certain characters or see certain animations. Hearing Ned say, “Howdily doodily”, or Homer plead, “Stop it, giant finger!”, or seeing Moe spying on Marge while hiding in a shrub – these things are worth the game’s small annoyances. They’re just not worth spending money on.
Other recommended Android apps that have been very helpful during my travels:
1) Sworkit Pro – a great way to get some exercise without leaving my hotel room.
2) Songkick – when I pull into a new city, I use this to see what bands are playing nearby. It’s how I got to see Wilco in Brooklyn last year. It’s also how I lucked out in catching an absolutely amazing show by Jessie Ware – also in Brooklyn – this past Wednesday.
3) MLB At Bat – because obviously. Oh man, I’m so glad baseball’s back.
after week four: ew, jersey
claymont, delaware
Things I’ve Learned:
1) Mondays, amirite? About two weeks ago, I was flipping through channels in my hotel room when I came across that Man Vs Food guy doing a show on the Travel Channel about the best sandwiches in America. He was in Baltimore, talking to the owner of a place called Faidley’s, which was famous for their crab cake sandwich and their crab cakes in general. Shots of the sandwich were shown repeatedly as the host and owner chatted. It looked amazing.
Faidley’s is located inside the Lexington Market (WARNING: link will transport you back in time to 1995), which is in downtown Baltimore, which is blocks away from where I would be working once I’d get to Baltimore in a couple weeks. Knowing this, I made a note reminding myself to visit the Market – I absolutely needed to have one of those sandwiches before leaving town.
I arrived in Baltimore this past Monday at around noon. Earlier that morning – and 30 miles south of town – I woke up to a car completely covered in snow. Big ole clumps of snow were still coming down. My boss had previously told me that – if the weather made it too unsafe to drive – I could just take a snow day and make up the hours later. That was the first thought that came to mind as I watched the snow fall from my hotel room. But I wanted that crab cake sandwich. I was so close, and surely the weather would improve as the day wore on.
So I set aside thoughts of my car sliding off the interstate and made my way to Baltimore. Sure enough, the weather improved, but not by much – the snow just turned into a persistent, miserable rain. I overlooked the rain, I overlooked the squalor of the part of town I ended up at, I overlooked the dude that tried to squeegee my car at a stop light even though I HAD MY WIPERS ON WHICH WERE DOING HIS UNWANTED JOB FOR ME, and I GPS’d my way over to the Lexington Market.
The Market was a maze-like, decrepit mess. It took a while, but I finally found what I came for. I found Faidley’s. And soon, that sandwich – which I’d spent a fortnight craving – would be finding my eager mouth.
They were closed. Fuck Faidley’s.
2) Newark, Delaware is a surprisingly cool town. Speaking of decrepit messes: While in Delaware this week, I was having a really hard time finding a hotel to stay at in Wilmington (Wilmington!!). The only hotels that were actually in the city were the pricey Marriots and Sheratons downtown. The closest thing I could find was in the next town over, New Castle, at a Motel 6 by the Delaware Memorial Bridge. Despite my dislike of Motel 6′s, I went ahead and booked it. When I got there after work on Wednesday and caught a look at the place, my brain immediately screamed, “NOOOO!!!!!” I cancelled the reservation and got the hell out of New Castle.
At the parking lot of an Applebee’s, I searched on my phone for another hotel that was also within my budget. I found a Super 8 in Newark – about 10 miles south of Wilmington – and booked it, despite the hotel having some truly horrible reviews online.
And it was perfectly fine, because only awful people who expect way too much out of a budget hotel write those reviews. Even better, the hotel was situated perfectly on Newark’s Main Street. Instead of being at a shitty motel in a run-down part of Delaware, I was right in the middle of an area appealingly clustered with local restaurants and bars. I could take walks after work, people watch, try out some yummy food, and visit overpriced wine bars. It was lovely, and I was really, really hoping that I could finagle my work schedule in some way so that I could spend the rest of the week and weekend there.
But, alas, it was not meant to be. I had to forge on to my next destination, my arch-nemesis among all the states. I had to go to New Jersey.
The following thoughts were all written while dealing with 25 goddamn miles of construction traffic on the New Jersey Turnpike on Friday:
3) I’m still amazed how quickly everything goes to shit as soon as you enter New Jersey.
4) I also remain fascinated that – in almost all cases – it’s free to enter New Jersey, but you have to pay if you want to leave. If you don’t have cash, or one of those EZ Pay thingies, then you’re doomed to spend the rest of your life in Jersey. God help you.
5) The more I visit the east coast, the less appealing I find it. It’s a massive disaster of poorly-planned roads and highways, and the nexus of all that disasterousness remains New Jersey.
6) Seriously, fuck New Jersey.
The Week In Hotels:
days inn – edgewood, maryland
sleep inn – newark, delaware
super 8 – newark, delaware
ramada inn – south plainfield, new jersey
I had actually stayed in Newark the night before I ended up at the Super 8 on Main Street. That night was spend at a Sleep Inn just outside of town that would normally be over my budget if I hadn’t used my hotel points for a free night. The hotel was fine, though really nothing special compared to cheaper hotels like . .
The Days Inn in Edgewood, Maryland, which provided a welcome solace after a day of dealing with snow, rain, and unsatisfied hunger, or . . .
The Ramada Inn in South Plainfield, New Jersey where I’ve spent this weekend. This hotel also has a ton of really bad reviews online that it really doesn’t deserve. Well, maybe – my room doesn’t have a desk chair, so I’m writing while sitting on the night stand, which I dragged over to the desk. Also, there’s no coffeemaker even though it was supposed to be included. And they have the most overzealous housekeeping I’ve ever encountered – this morning, on a Sunday, on a holiday, they started knocking on my door and tried to get inside until the latch chain stopped them. Then they tried again. And again. And fucking again. They didn’t stop until I finally yelled out, “I’M TRYING TO FUCKING SLEEP!!” Fuckers – okay, they deserve the bad reviews. Fast internet, though!
r u hungry – maxim approves, so it’s gotta be good
The Week In Food:
1) NOT FAIDLEY’S IN BALTIMORE BECAUSE FUCK THEM!!!
2) King’s Chinese – Edgewood (or maybe Abingdon), Maryland
This was my consolation prize after missing out on crab cake on Monday. Since I was starving by the time I got there (prior to finding the place, I was thisclose to breaking my ‘no fast food’ rule because I couldn’t find anything else), I ordered some pork lo mein and squid in garlic sauce. The latter was terrific and made me feel very happy and relieved after it seemed like it would be a day of complete food futility. The portions were huge, too – both the squid and the lo mein ended up lasting me 3 meals.
tastes better than it looks
3) Some really good hibachi and sushi buffet in New Castle, Delaware, which immediately became the best part of New Castle (though it might have actually been in Wilmington). The sushi, in particular, was incredibly good for a lunch buffet.
4) Banh Mi Boy – Newark, Delaware
A short walk from my hotel room, I came here for lunch on Thursday, settling on a roast pork sandwich which also came with pickled daikon and carrots, cucumber, homemade mayo, jalapeno and cilantro. The first bite was nothing special, but – as I got more of the mayo and some of the fattier bits of pork – it got better and better, to the point that I really wanted another one immediately after finishing it.
5) R U Hungry – New Brunswick, New Jersey
One good aspect of Jersey that even I can’t find fault with: they’re really good at combining a bunch of unhealthy food into some seriously unhealthy (and delicious) food. R U Hungry – a food truck on the Rutgers campus – exemplifies that. You can see for yourself by perusing some of their menu, which is pictured above. You can also take a look at the pic below of the sandwich I ended up choosing – the Fat Buddah – which features a cheeseburger (my first burger of the trip!), a pork roll, an egg, fries (also my first fries of the trip), lettuce, and maybe a tomato. I ate it in my car because I couldn’t wait ’til I got to my hotel to tear into it. The whole thing was great – in particular, the burger and the pork roll mixed incredibly well.
tastes better than it looks
6) Stuff Yer Face – New Brunswick, New Jersey
Not far from R U Hungry, I came here Saturday afternoon and ordered an 18-inch stromboli filled with chicken, bacon, onions, mozzarella, and cheddar cheese. It also came with a side of ranch to maximize the ‘what-have-I-done’ regret that generally accompanies the completion of such an indulgence. I had half for lunch and half for dinner. It was awesome both times.
I swear I’ve actually lost weight during this trip.
along main street – newark, delaware
The Week In Booze:
Paripaso Cabernet from a wine bar in Newark. It was pricey – $12 for six ounces – but it was exactly what I was craving. For the second week in a row – and third out of the four weeks I’ve been on the road – I’ve had no beer, which explains the weight loss despite the Jersey-sized gluttony.
Up Next:
Hackensack! The Bronx! Queens! Oh man, I can’t wait to get the hell out of the east coast.
More pictures can be found at my Flickr page.